Of Fading and Unfulfilled Dreams

 

It was 3:30 p.m.—thirty minutes past the slated lecture time—when Dr. Ariyo rounded up his class and walked out of the cramped lecture room in his usual staggering style. The students growled in anger and exhaustion as they grabbed their books and bags, starting to make their way out of the hot and stifling room. Dr. Ariyo’s lectures were known to be remarkably long and unappealing, marked with drowsiness and fatigue. Therefore, the students usually prepared beforehand with packs of bubble gum and peanut wraps.

Ihuoma, a 300-level student in the Department of Biology, yawned loudly as she watched her best friend, Atinuke, spring up from her seat in excitement. “Ah, I’m famished. Dr. Ariyo managed to use up all of my energy. Let’s hurry out before Mama Kola’s ofada rice gets finished.” Atinuke dragged Ihuoma, her best friend of three years whom she had met on the day of their matriculation.

Just like Ihuoma, Atinuke desired a more professional course, but her dream was dashed when the university admitted her to the Biology Department. The two friends whined about the failing system at the school hostel as they walked down the road to get lunch. The power supply had been epileptic for the past five days, and Ihuoma had been unable to power her laptop to complete the online course she recently enrolled in.

“I can’t wait for this semester to be over so that I can return to Akure and devour my mom’s pounded yam and egusi soup. I need to make up for the weight I have lost,” Atinuke was saying when Ihuoma caught sight of the Faculty of Clinical Sciences and the swarms of people walking in and out of the building. Suddenly, she remembered her longtime dream of becoming a pediatrician and how the educational system in Nigeria had crumbled her future ambition.

***

Ihuoma grew up in Enugu, Nigeria, as the first child of her widowed mother. She witnessed her mother striving hard to ensure that the family survived. Her mother worked as a cleaner at a health center and visited affluent homes during the weekends to assist with cleaning and dishwashing. Ihuoma always knew her mother as a hustler—one who worked tirelessly to prevent her children from sleeping with empty bellies.

When Ihuoma’s mother landed a job as a nursery school teacher in a government school in Port-Harcourt, the family excitedly packed all of their belongings and relocated to the new city with the promise of a better life. Undoubtedly, their lives improved—they now enjoyed meals with a piece of scrawny beef on their plates. They could also pay their school fees promptly and replace the clothes they had worn out.

However, Ihuoma desired a better life for her mother and younger brother. She wanted them to visit restaurants and try out new delicacies rather than the usual rice-for-breakfast-and-eba-for-lunch meal pattern. She wanted her mother to wear colorful attire and pointy heels, to wear bold red lipstick like the women she sees on TV, and to have a healthy amount of sleep without the risk of getting her salary deducted for failure to meet the morning assembly. Ihuoma knew that she needed to work hard to create a better life for her loved ones, and this buoyed her to work towards performing excellently in school.

Passionate about medicine, it came as no surprise when Ihuoma decided to study pediatrics at a higher institution. She paid attention in the classroom and spent her free time studying in the library. Ihuoma did not keep many friends due to the fear of getting distracted and getting immersed in the world of dating and alcohol like some of her peers.

Ihuoma sat for the SSCE and excelled in all of the papers. She chose two of the most prestigious federal universities in Nigeria to study pediatrics after receiving her results and registering for the Joint Admission Matriculation Board examination. She was confident about getting admitted into one—if not both—universities and proceeding on the path towards fulfilling her dream.

When, two months later, they announced that the admission list had been released, she hurried to the nearest cybercafé to learn of her fate. Ihuoma’s face scrunched up in disappointment and confusion when she did not find her name on any of the lists.

“But I did well. I scored 303 in JAMB and had an A in most of my subjects in WAEC. What could have gone wrong?” Ihuoma muttered to herself as she returned home with misty eyes.

Ihuoma bawled her eyes out as her mother patted her back and urged her to remain positive. “You will try again next year. I’m positive that you will be granted admission,” her mother pacified her, wishing that she could afford to send her daughter to a private university.

Ihuoma tried the second time, the third, the fourth, and the fifth. After the fifth attempt, she conceded to the course she was admitted to and decided to accept her fate, saying that maybe she was not destined to become a pediatrician. Maybe she would study biology and, along the way, fall in love with the course. Maybe she would realize three years down the line that she had wasted five years trying to study a course that didn’t suit her.

Three years had passed as a student of biology, and Ihuoma still gaped at her colleagues studying pediatrics with a hint of jealousy as they donned their crisp lab coats and whined about the stress of becoming a doctor. She still read articles written by pediatricians sharing their journey towards becoming successful in their careers and wondered how they could be so lucky, how they could have chosen this path, and how the world could conspire to help them actualise their goals but not hers. She also wondered if things could have been different if she wasn’t a Nigerian—if getting to study your dream course at the university was solely based on merit. Ihuoma’s eyes were filled to the brim with tears as she thought about the fate of her younger brother—still starting life—as he tries to navigate the ups and downs in Nigeria.

Will things ever get better for her mother? Will her mother gain the promotion she had anticipated for over ten years, and will her salary finally be reviewed? Will her younger brother be able to fulfill his dreams, or will Nigeria dash them like hers?

***

“Ihuoma!” Atinuke tapped Ihuoma lightly on her right hand, enough to bring her back to the present. “Are you okay? You’ve been still for minutes." Atinuke stared at her with a look of concern and worry.

She trailed Ihuoma’s eyes and immediately understood why her friend was looking solemn. “The educational system in Nigeria is not worth getting depressed over,” Atinuke said, adjusting the collar of her cream-colored shirt. “I’ll be leaving for Canada as soon as we graduate. I still plan on studying medical laboratory science.”

The two friends walked the rest of the trip in silence, Ihuoma thinking of what Atinuke had said. She could follow her friend’s plan; relocate to a different country to forge her career path and create a better life for her family. Since Nigeria had deprived her of fulfilling her dreams, she would actualize them somewhere else.

About The Author

Maryam Abdulwahab is a communications specialist and accountant who recently earned a Master of Business Administration. When Maryam isn't writing, she can be found cooking jollof rice, reading a fictional piece and loads of newsletters, or listening to a soul-lifting podcast. She has an indescribable love for rain, flowers, and tea.

Her works have appeared in Kalahari Review, SprinNG, and Eksentrika.