Hijrah Towards A Better Self

HIJRAH TOWARDS A BETTER SELF

              Tell this poem to hold my pain & watch it leak crimson grief

              Say, how do I fasten this skin to stop the fall? Some nights I hear my bones

              sigh under the weight of this body.

              I hear that forgetting is fragile, like a thin coat of cloud the rays

              of grief could pierce through and nothing of the years passed by will matter.

             

              Once the flames of a fire kissed my skin & I emerged scarred 

              with history. Watched the past keloid into a memory

              One whose paths I would often tread searching for what was lost in the fire

              only to be met with my ashes scattered in the wind.

            

              Once the flames of a fire hugged my soul & I have learnt to embrace the 

              brunt like a friend. The days elapse & every three hundred & sixty five

              replays the memory of my body engulfed in this platonic romance. Yet I 

              sing hallelujah for every place I have learned to find beauty.

               I face my fear as I would the Qiblah, a prerequisite to the ritual of becoming.

               Feel the faces of the things that scare me & memorize them. Remind myself

               of all the reasons why I need to wash myself three times.

            

               Three times, rinse the smoke away. Wash through my fingers to rid myself of the times

               I fell in the mud. Three times, my feet; I let the water soak the space between my toes.

               Bring me the Holy Grail; I walk into the unknown an unwavering shield

               & on my lips stirs a thousand orisons.

Glossary

Hijrah (from Islamic history): Conveyance to a better situation/ a search for a more favourable environment.

About The Author:

                         Zainab A. Jatau is a Nigerian writer and photographer whose works often focus on the themes of loss and identity. Her works has been published and are forthcoming on various online publications like Lunaris review, the Revue magazine and was the winner of the TWMN female writers contest for the poetry category in 2021. She loves to experiment with words, colours and considers art as a means to transverse through life.