If You Would Love Me

Then you should know, that

I am weak. This life has demanded of me

So much, in survival, in fighting, in standing.

I am dead on my feet when I should be dead in the ground.

I am so tired, but I go on—that is all I know how to do.

The little strength I will show you, it is borne of my weakness.

I have my demons. The first thing I will do when you come

Into my life, is try to protect you from them:

Bones in my closet, spectres in my past,

Mistakes I have made, tattooed up my sleeve.

They will stay hidden until I am certain

You are into me for me, for real.

There are days I struggle to forgive myself

For not being the exacting figure of perfection

I pretend I can become. I am a dreamer

Of big dreams, mixing the real and unreal

In my realm of fantasy. When I do not fly as I hope to,

Or cleave apart my worst fears with a mighty stroke,

It is sometimes hard not to ask myself why.

I believe every single thing is possible,

Even though I cannot

Make everything happen.

When my world takes a hit from a meteor

Of circumstance, the urge to let it all fall apart

Is hard for me to resist.

Loving me is an uphill journey, and if you would begin,

Then you must know that you should never

Lie to me about where we stand.

Walk away if you are not sure;

I will survive the aftermath—it will just be

Another demand this funny life makes

Of someone like me.

©Shalom