ITS OK TO NOT BE OK

Hey you!
How did your week go?
How did you respond to the question “how are you" this week?

I know you mostly said “ I'm fine", “good", “great" or even “ not so great but I'm ok". But, are you really?

Oftentimes, we all tend to use the word “fine" to hide how we really feel. If you're really happy, you tend to give details on what's making you feel so great. If you're “just fine" then there's more to your response than you are letting on.

Imagine you are going through a rough phase. Let's say you're going through a painful breakup, you lose someone dear to your heart or you're really worried and stressed about an issue and have no means of resolving it...

How do you deal with the pain or anxiety?

Distract yourself by trying to rebound with other activities?

Reassure yourself and those around you that you are ok?

Refuse help?

Or do you play the blame game?

The first step to getting out of this state is to acknowledge that you are not ok. Shed off the feeling that any kind of pain means you're weak or doing something wrong.

If this is how you think, it's wrong but don't worry, you are not alone. That's how most of us have grown, we believe it's normal. Normal is fine but healthy is key.

You must let go of the notion that you must distract yourself from how you really feel to be ok again. Those sad and painful feelings won't disappear as if by magic. There are actions you can take to relieve yourself of the emotional pain.

It is hard to cope with emotional pain but you can deal with it by;

Moving your body
While going through this phase, you may not want to get out of bed or go out at all and this can contribute to greater depression. Moving when you feel down will give you energy and lift your spirits.

Don't reflect on the cause of your pain
What  has happened can't be undone. Don't torture yourself by focusing on the source of your pain. It will only make things worse for you. You have to stop blaming and shaming yourself as well.

Cry
Don't fight back the tears. Let it all out because bottling up your emotions can poison your mind and body. Crying releases toxins from your body and relieves stress.

Don't Isolate yourself. Open up!
As much as you hate to see your loved ones suffering, it hurts when they see you suffering too. Let them in, connection is an important part of overcoming the pain.

The list goes on...
It might be difficult to follow through but you have to.

It's ok to feel sad, it's ok to feel lonely, it's ok to be pained, it's ok to feel scared, IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK.

Joy_Ande